Why do we keep on reliving same experiences? Attracting the same kind of circumstances…dealing with the same kind of ‘’not easy’’ bosses…ending up being in the same kind of relationships?
It seems like we are never able to learn the lessons life is offering us.
But is it that simple?
Our brain, which is primarily focused on keeping us safe and assure our survival, will always want us to remain in the ‘’known’’ zone, will always want to validate the story we have created about life circumstances, bosses, relationships, money… It does not care if it feels good or bad, it is addicted to the ‘’familiar’’ outcome of the situation, familiar feelings.
Let’s say you had experienced some heart breaks in the past and you have created a story about love: ‘’love does not last’’ or ‘’they always leave you’’, or ‘’they are not loyal’’…or whatever is your perceived story. You meet a new person, and it feels right but your inner voice is so suspicious…it keeps on nagging ‘’we have been already in this situation and it did not end up well’’, or ‘’be careful, don’t trust them’’.
Or maybe you are actually attracting the same kind of person you have been dealing with in the past…
The relationship end up being the same way as before. And you reconfirm the story you have been believing in for so long…again the same sh*t!
The point I want to make hear is we are addicted to feel the same kind of feelings and think the same kind of thoughts. Whether it’s our perception about the new situation or it’s the same type of the situation we have attracted into our life. We keep on reliving the same pattern, not being aware we are creating it ourselves.
Haven’t you ever noticed that some people are addicted to ‘’suffering’’? It’s not that their life circumstances can’t change, on a subconscious level (which is running our lives) they do not allow the change. We often find pleasure in reliving the same kind of sh*t.
Why we are so addicted to the same experiences? Why is it so difficult to break the habit?
A little bit of neuroscience to explain how our brain and body function. I will not go too scientific:)
Our brain is a product of the past memories. It loves reproducing the same reality and reconfirms what we already know.
Why? Every time we think the same thought we create neuro patterns in our brain. Neuros that fire together wire together. What does it mean? One brain cell releases a chemical that the next brain cell absorbs. With the time neurons develop long-term relationship and the connection between cells becomes stronger. Our reaction to the situation becomes automatic. It becomes much easier for our brain to reproduce the same thoughts.
We are becoming attached to our thoughts and emotions and our personality shapes based on the feelings we are experiencing over and over again.
Same thoughts, same reactions, same way of behaving…with the time we live on autopilot.
If we keep on thinking the same thoughts and having the same emotions and as a result acting in the same way how can we expect anything different in our lives?
And if everything is energy, we are offering to this world energetic frequency which will cause us to relive the experiences which are in line with how we feel…meaning, not wanting it consciously, we will attract into our lives the same old. Same demanding bosses, same toxic relationships, same issues with money…Does it sounds familiar?
Why is it so difficult to change the old pattern?
We can force ourselves to change the thoughts and think more positively. If you have ever tried this approach you might know how exhausting it is. You are fighting to control your thoughts process and at the end, not being able to withstand the battle, slip into the old thinking pattern.
Again…
Positive thinking on its own rarely bring sustainable results and this is why.
Our human nature is more complex than just thinking process.
You have feelings, emotions and sensations in your body. Negative emotions (from your past) are stored at your cellular level. The memory of the cells is much much much stronger than your thoughts memory.
Let’s say you have been raised in the family where you have seen your parents suffering in their relationship. You have memorised suffering as being part of having the relationship experience. Maybe you have experienced in the past a heart break in your own relationships. It became your story about the relationships. Every time you were having a ‘’suffering’’ thought your body was producing chemicals corresponding to the feeling of suffering. With the time those chemicals became habitual inhabitants in your body. With the time you started to be addicted to the feeling of suffering and your cells required a bit stronger dose a ‘’suffering’’ chemicals every time. It works the same way as drug addiction – your body is crying for more.
This is the reason why it’s so challenging to break the habit. The body always wants you to come back to its habitual chemical self.
No surprises, some people spend years in the relationships that are causing them suffering, not being able to get rid of this drug.
But there is another side of this addiction…If you have experienced pain in the past relationships, you will always want to validate the story and convince yourself over and over again ‘’relationships end up being bad’, even if you meet a completely different type of person…and you will!
By remembering same experience you make body to think the same way as in the past; your body will become memory of the past. Without knowing, without having any intention you will create more of what has happened in the past.
It’s not you! It’s the memory of your body who is running the show!
We can consciously choose to stop this process.
1st of all we can become observers of our own thoughts, emotions and sensations. Don’t judge them, but just observe.
Every time you notice you have the same kind of negative thoughts and feelings ask yourself if it’s true or it’s you perception based on the past.
Meditation…so many teachers are talking about the healing process of mediation. Many of us might still think it’s a spiritual stuff only, but actually mediation helps to break old patterns of neurons and reshape your mind.
To change your life experience you need to change your state of being. To change your state of being you need to break the habit of being yourself, to break old neuronal patterns and align your thoughts with your feelings. When you do that new experiences will flow into your life.
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