From the early age, we learned to suppress our emotions. We have been told that it’s not ok to express freely everything we feel. Don’t be angry…don’t be sad…don’t cry.
We have never realized that the habit of closing up what we feel deep inside, of hiding the nagging feeling that wants to come out, this habit has been causing great harm to us.
Not only we suppress our emotions, we make ourselves wrong for having them and secretly are blaming ourselves for experiencing them.
We have forgotten that emotions are our greatest gifts! Every emotion deserves to be heard and felt!
A child who has been taught to experience and express freely everything he feels becomes an adult who can move through his feelings very quickly without doing much harm to himself and his surroundings.
On the opposite side, emotions, which are not expressed, become unnatural emotions. Someone who suppresses grief will eventually become depressed; the person who denies he feels angry will experience rage. Someone who continuously denies he is envy becomes jealous. A child who has been told it’s not ok to be afraid, in his adulthood will tend to panic and get paralyzed by the feeling of fear when it’s critical to act.
Not only that…
We have been taught (even if not openly) to control how we experience love. We often run from it, close up terrified by the fear of being abandoned. We put limits, rules, and conditions on how we are expressing this feeling. If you do, behave or tell this then I’ll do the same. We have forgotten how is it to love unconditionally, maybe because we have never been loved in this way – fully accepted, supported and appreciated for who we are.
We have been told we need to ”overcome” our darkest emotions and ‘’fix’’ our broken parts. We have created an image of a superhero, who never cries, never gets frustrated, sad, lonely…etc. We have imposed a cliché ‘’Men do not cry’’ on the male population of our planet.
We have buried our darkest emotions and core wounds deep inside, put lots of layers on top hoping they will stop poisoning our lives and disappear on their own. It’s like sweeping the shit under the carpet hoping it will stop smelling. It will not!
Everything you resist will keep on growing. The only way out is to go in. Go inside and feel EVERYTHING. Stop making yourself wrong for feeling EVERYTHING. Do not try to fix what you feel. Question why you feel what you feel. Be ok with it.
It might feel uncomfortable. But…until you do…until you feel…until you accept and embrace your darkest emotions they will continue to be triggered by the outer world and you will keep on blaming someone or something for what is hurting inside. Everything outside is only the projection of what you carry inside.
Until you look inside and try to understand the true source of your pain, until you heal the underlying issues you will keep on reliving the same patterns in your relationships, career, daily life…
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